TMC
2011-10-10 08:06:36 UTC
http://whatculture.com/film/10-worst-moments-in-the-batman-film-franchise.php
October 7, 2011 4:33 pm Jame Simpson
Batman is, to put it simply, an anomaly. He’s a character who has
remained one of the most loved and respected superheroes of all time,
despite undergoing various phases of reinvention – and a couple of
attempts to ruin his credibility completely. When plotted
chronologically, this development has clearly been a dramatic one;
from the colourful, good natured fun of the Adam West starring 1966
feature film based on the television serial came the peril and twisted
humour of the Burton / Schumacher interpretation, which was itself
followed less than a decade later by the gritty atmosphere of the
Chris Nolan trilogy.
With each new incarnation the characters have become far more grounded
in a believable reality while the drama has become more serious and
the humour has become reduced to the point of near non – existence.
Along the way audiences have been repeatedly faced with disparate
emotions; moments which have left them awe struck; moments which have
left them in suspense; moments which have made them cheer; moments
which have made them cry; and moments which have made them question
why they bought a ticket in the first place. Indeed, this constant
development of the caped crusader’s character hasn’t been without a
few ‘hiccups’ along the way, the exploration and explanation of which
is the purpose of this article. So, where to begin?]
When attempting to compile a list such as this, it quickly becomes
important to define what the word ‘worst’ means. If it is taken to
mean ‘unrealistic’, ‘impossible’ or ‘futuristic’ then there would be
little left for me to do but type up every film’s plot synopsis. For
this reason, I have defined my top ten ‘worst’ moments as any plot
point, scene, character or piece of dialogue which doesn’t fit with
the rest of the film in which it features. This has made criticising
them somewhat easier, although I have no doubt that I will come up
against opposition regarding all of my points. For this reason I ask
you to bear in mind that these are my choices alone, based on my
interpretation of the films, so if you have anything to add or if you
disagree please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below!
Now, without further ado, in no particular order:
10# The Batpod’s CGI – The Dark Knight (2008)
The chase in The Dark Knight (2008) is arguably the film’s
centrepiece; Harvey Dent’s life hangs in the balance; the Joker is
captured; Commissioner Gordon makes a surprise return; and there are
more than enough crashes, splashes and explosions to keep the audience
on the edge of their seats throughout. The IMAX used to shoot the
scene gives it a crystal clear visual quality, which combined with
Hans Zimmer’s haunting score gives the whole sequence an overwhelming
sense of peril and drama. However, there are a couple of things within
this sequence which spoil what would have otherwise been a flawless
piece of cinema.
The first is the CGI as the Batpod detaches from the Tumbler; the
shots of it screeching through malls and packed side streets like a
banshee blowing away everything from windows to parked cars are
excellent, but in order to do this it first had to be written into the
scene. Having Batman arrive on it could have been feasible (he only
arrives when the chase is in progress, after all, and there must be
other ways to deal with the garbage truck) but instead it is produced
at the expense of the Tumbler.
Christopher Nolan is quoted by a crew member on the DVD special
features as saying he wanted to destroy the Tumbler at the end of
Batman Begins, but didn’t due to plot considerations. This time he got
his wish, replacing the military commissioned goliath with the Batpod
and simultaneously creating one of the more noticeable pieces of CGI
in the entire film. Then, to further the use of unnecessary CGI, when
the chase has concluded and the Joker’s truck has been flipped the
Batpod rides up a wall, pivots on its rear wheel and settles back to
earth. The truck was flipped in the real world using real compressed
gas, so what’s wrong with turning the Batpod around like any normal
motorbike? When will film makers learn that such obvious pieces of CGI
kills movies by dragging the audience kicking and screaming from the
immersion which the rest of the scene so carefully creates? Sorry for
the rant, but I feel that Nolan and his team detracted from the
excellent work they did on creating such a stunt by following it up
with something which could have been executed far better.
9# The ‘Art Gallery’ Scene – Batman (1989)
The Art Gallery scene in Batman (1989) is a little bit confusing. You
may have noticed a lack of criticism for the first Batman on the rest
of this list, due to my belief that it was the best one of its
generation – a previously comical television serial brought bang up to
date with tension and a twisted Burtonesque edge. However this moment
in Bat-infamy simply can’t be ignored.
In this scene, an attempt is made to introduce the previously 60′s
prevalent exaggerated humour into the far grittier and moodier Burton
representation, with the combination of the two producing a result
which doesn’t really work. It could be argued that the bad dance
routine set to the music of Prince reinforces the Joker’s sense of
humour and theatre, in addition to showcasing his desire to destroy
and disrupt ordered society. He certainly does that, smashing valuable
statues and defacing priceless paintings. However, after brutally
murdering mob bosses and cold heartedly gassing innocent civilians
this scene seems a little too light hearted for its own good.
Perhaps losing the music would have been sufficient, or cutting out
the ridiculous dancing from the henchmen (who are nowhere near as
deluded or psychotic as the Joker)? I can’t quite put my finger on how
this scene could have been improved, perhaps a sign that I’m being
overly critical, but as per the definition at the top of this article
it doesn’t quite fit for me with the rest of the film and as such has
found itself here. It’s a shame, since Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of
the Joker was otherwise very dark and menacing (for me both Nicholson
and Ledger delivered stellar performances).
8# Penguin’s Batmobile Driving Simulator – Batman Returns (1992)
Batman is engaged in a hand to hand fight with Catwoman across
Gotham’s rooftops, deflecting kicks and desperately avoiding the sharp
drops from the edge of each building. While his adversary is
distracted, Penguin intervenes by sending his goons to sabotage the
Batmobile. Rather than fitting the flame throwing auto with a bomb,
which would require ingenuity and quick thinking to defuse, they
instead fit the car with a remote control system, allowing Penguin to
drive it using a scale replica housed inside his ‘Oswald Cobblepot
Electoral Trailer’. The result is that a chase which could have been
hectic and exciting is reduced to a farce, the camera shots of the
Batmobile hitting civilians while screeching with alarming abandon
through the city cut with embarrassing glimpses of the Penguin rocking
his trailer in glee.
Perhaps this wouldn’t have been so bad if the scene prior to this one
hadn’t have been one of the better ones for showcasing Batman’s
inimitable ‘cool’. As it stands, the contrast is noticeable and
disappointing.
7# Mr. Freeze – Batman & Robin (1997)
The above heading may seem very general, but there is good reason for
this – everything about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of Mr.
Freeze is lacking. After an overenthusiastic ‘slip’ into a vat of
freezing chemicals, the previously hard working and affectionate Dr.
Victor Fries transforms into an ice cold killer (pardon the pun) who
works tirelessly to cure his terminally ill and cryogenically frozen
wife while simultaneously developing a love for furry Polar Bear
slippers, Christmas songs, dancing (badly) and spouting terrible
catchphrases. These include, but are not limited to, “Cool off”,
“Chill out”, “What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!” and “Chilled to
perfection”. There’s more, but… enough.
Unfortunately, it’s obvious that Schwarzenegger was cast only for his
name and not for his acting credentials; as much as I enjoy watching
him in movies like ‘Commando’ or ‘Predator’ he doesn’t even change his
accent for his appearance in Batman & Robin (1997), making him a bit
of a caricature; a sizeable piece of comic relief in a film which (for
me) already has far too much of it. Yes he’s funny at first, but after
a while the jokes get old and the whole character starts to grate.
With different writing and casting, this could have been a ‘chilling’
portrayal of a vengeful world – hating psychopath, but unfortunately
it was not to be.
6# Penguin’s ‘Rubber Duck Boat’ – Batman Returns (1992)
The Penguin is a complex character with a tragic past, a somewhat
‘unconventional’ upbringing and an ambivalent demeanour; he is both
charming and devious, with his criminal desires underpinning his thin
veneer of respectability. Overall I found him to be an entertaining
villain, although there was one aspect of his existence which puzzled
me; it wasn’t his upbringing by penguins; it wasn’t the fact that he
could speak ‘penguin’; it wasn’t the fact that there were penguins in
Gotham when it should have been far too warm for them (even at
Christmas); it wasn’t that he had an army of penguins with rockets
strapped to their backs who would follow his every command. No, it was
none of these things. He is a comic book character, after all.
Instead, the most puzzling aspect of the Penguin’s character for me
was why he chose to travel the city’s sewer system in a gigantic
yellow motorised rubber duck with Lamborghini doors.
Capable of traversing roads as well as waterways thanks to its off
road wheels, I’ll admit that the giant duck made me laugh. However,
compared to the other facets of the character it jars slightly.
Perhaps that’s the point? Perhaps it’s a comedic device much like his
umbrellas, his social ineptitude and his immature tantrums? Perhaps
it’s to get a cheap laugh? Perhaps he had one in the comic book? If
anyone knows specifically why Penguin uses such a craft, or if he had
a similar mode of transportation in the comics or graphic novels,
please let me know as I’d love to try and get my head around such a
seemingly bizarre choice.
5# The ‘Bat Credit Card’ – Batman & Robin (1997)
The scene in Batman & Robin (1997) which begins with a charity auction
and ends with the dreadful line “Never leave the cave without it” is
terrible. Up to now I have offered only my personal opinion on my
choices, fully aware that others will disagree and offer their own
interpretations. In this case, however, I shall not be moved. I truly
believe that this scene is undisputedly and indefensibly terrible.
Firstly, Batman and Robin agree to make an appearance at a charity
benefit, which serves only to demystify the two silent guardians of
Gotham’s vulnerable populace by giving them near celebrity status.
Secondly, Poison Ivy appears dressed as a giant gorilla – which is all
I really need to say for that. Lastly, when the two heroes bid against
each other for a date with Ivy while under the influence of her
hypnotising potion, Robin claims that he’ll borrow some of Batman’s
money before Batman shows him the Bat credit card. Oh dear. This scene
is in fact so bad that YouTube responses to it from people like
‘NostalgiaCritic’ become internet phenomena. And I wholeheartedly
agree with all of them.
4# Opening a Safe with a Hearing Aid… – Batman Forever (1995)
… Or not. Taking the title sequence and first scene in isolation,
audiences could be forgiven for thinking that by this point the
writers of Batman Forever (1995) had lost the plot completely (no pun
intended). When Batman is locked inside a secure safe with a security
guard and the safe begins rapidly filling with acid, our hero is left
with little choice but to face certain death. Fortunately, when all
hope seems lost, a solution presents itself – Batman takes the inept
security guard’s hearing aid and uses it to pick the lock of the safe…
from the inside… while it’s hanging hundreds of feet above the ground…
with Two Face circling overhead in a helicopter wailing like he’s a
wounded animal. There are so many parts of this scene which could have
been done better or more dramatically, making the end result a scene
that doesn’t live up to what the remainder of the film provides – as I
said, it is an entertaining film if watched in its entirety.
3# “I’ll get Drive – Thru” – Batman Forever (1995)
Elliot Goldenthal’s orchestral score soars through the speakers as the
Batman logo and the acting credits of the main characters shoot across
the screen in vibrant shades of green, orange, red and pink. Batman
Forever (1995) has begun. Suddenly, our hero appears. Once suited up
in his trademark outfit and cape, he carefully selects the weapons and
gadgets he will need for his next skirmish with Gotham’s criminal
fraternity. Ascending the cold metal stairs of the bat cave he
emerges, triumphant, as the Batmobile raises up to meet him on its
bespoke rotating platform. The music reaches its dizzying height as
the caped crusader examines his trusty steed… then Alfred enters the
shot and says “Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you sir?” to
which Bruce replies with “I’ll get drive thru.” What a way to kill any
sense of pace, drama or tension which may have been building up until
that point.
This isn’t a dig at Val Kilmer; in fact, I found his portrayal of the
caped crusader in Batman Forever (1995) just as entertaining as
Michael Keaton’s previous efforts. I enjoyed the film immensely, with
fast paced action, moments of genuine drama and a host of colourful
villains presented as if they were taken directly from the pages of
the comic books. I realise that this line is supposed to be quirky and
funny just like the villains of the piece, but it doesn’t fit with the
mood of the scene it’s placed in at all; the gloom, the murkiness, the
mystery, the technology, the ‘badassery’ of it all collapses as soon
as those lines are spoken. Plus Bruce and Alfred rarely ever use
humour in the same way that the Joker or Two Face might, meaning that
the exchange, although brief, seem out of sorts. To make matters
worse, after these lines are unavoidably uttered Schumacher
desperately tries to reel the audience back in with a return to the
gloom, the darkness and the calculated music – but it’s all too late.
It’s an unnecessary nod to the humour of the ‘60s series – one of
several throughout the film – but it just doesn’t fit. Still, perhaps
the next scene is better…
You can watch the infamous moment HERE.
2# Reverse Engineering Bullets… The Dark Knight (2008)
Again, this is perhaps only a small point and it won’t annoy people as
much as the points above, but out of all of the technical advances
showcased in The Dark Knight (2008) I felt that the reverse
engineering of a bullet was the least convincing. Setting up a row of
identical wall bricks, shooting at each in turn and using the
fragments to find a fingerprint on an already shattered bullet? For
this to work would Bruce not need to use the same type of weapon, the
same type of bullet and shoot from the same distance and elevation?
How does he know that the bullet was fired on a perfectly horizontally
plane into the wall? Surely in the excitement of the confrontation
shots would have hit the wall from multiple directions and at multiple
angles? Also, do all bullets always shatter in exactly the same way,
even if they are fired in identical conditions?
I know, I know. It’s a film. I should just deal with it. After all,
the theory of reverse engineering a bullet is no stranger than
transforming every mobile phone in Gotham into a sonar transmitter.
However, the crucial difference here is that the sonar was at least
pre-empted and developed to give it a degree of credibility; Bruce
refuses to tell Lucius Fox about an alleged ‘Military
Telecommunications’ project throughout the film, before revealing near
the finale that he has adopted a piece of technology developed by Fox
for use in Shanghai and deployed it on a much larger scale. Therefore,
the technology is grounded within the reality of the film and can be
readily explained. By contrast, reverse engineering a bullet is not
mentioned before or after the scene in which it features, nor is it
included in Batman Begins (2006), giving the impression that it was
used only as a narrative device to advance the plot when the writers
were stuck in a rut.
1# ‘Uncle Alfred’ Designing the ‘Batgirl’ Costume… – Batman & Robin
(1997)
It’s a well known fact that Alfred, the Wayne family’s loyal and long
suffering butler, has always been an integral part of the Batman
franchise. He gives invaluable advice, tends to Bruce’s injuries,
helps to maintain the Batmobile, ensures that the weapons and gadgets
are in functional order and, in the Burton / Schumacher films, also
has a hand in designing and making the heroes (and heroines) suits.
There’s no problem with this in theory, but when the well mannered and
gentile old fellow produces a figure hugging and risqué ‘Batgirl’
outfit for his ‘darling niece’ in Batman & Robin (1997) questions have
to be asked. I’m definitely not accusing the writers or directors of
hinting at anything; nor am I ignorant to the fact that much of the
target audience for the film would have greatly enjoyed seeing Alicia
Silverstone in such an ensemble. However, why couldn’t they have
scripted this scene to allow Barbara to make her own suit? She has a
pre-established back story of liking motorbikes, so why not film a
scene showing her cutting up a set of leathers and producing an outfit
that way? It’s a small point I know, but it just doesn’t feel right.
So that concludes my round up of the ten ‘worst’ moments in the
‘Batman’ film franchise. As you may have guessed by now it was
incredibly difficult to pick holes in these films for a variety of
reasons; not only are they based on comic books, meaning that they
aren’t supposed to be realistic, but they also strike a delicate
balance between drama and humour and make use of technology which is
at once impossible but feasible. As a result I have only chosen those
moments which I feel could have been improved in some way, as per my
definition of the word ‘worst’. I am certain that many of you will
disagree with my points, or generate some which I haven’t given
priority – Christian Bale’s voice, for instance, is something I think
works very well and adds to the character, while many others find it
laughably incomprehensible and distracting. Still, if this article
succeeds in nothing other than sparking up a discussion or debate then
it’s done its job!
October 7, 2011 4:33 pm Jame Simpson
Batman is, to put it simply, an anomaly. He’s a character who has
remained one of the most loved and respected superheroes of all time,
despite undergoing various phases of reinvention – and a couple of
attempts to ruin his credibility completely. When plotted
chronologically, this development has clearly been a dramatic one;
from the colourful, good natured fun of the Adam West starring 1966
feature film based on the television serial came the peril and twisted
humour of the Burton / Schumacher interpretation, which was itself
followed less than a decade later by the gritty atmosphere of the
Chris Nolan trilogy.
With each new incarnation the characters have become far more grounded
in a believable reality while the drama has become more serious and
the humour has become reduced to the point of near non – existence.
Along the way audiences have been repeatedly faced with disparate
emotions; moments which have left them awe struck; moments which have
left them in suspense; moments which have made them cheer; moments
which have made them cry; and moments which have made them question
why they bought a ticket in the first place. Indeed, this constant
development of the caped crusader’s character hasn’t been without a
few ‘hiccups’ along the way, the exploration and explanation of which
is the purpose of this article. So, where to begin?]
When attempting to compile a list such as this, it quickly becomes
important to define what the word ‘worst’ means. If it is taken to
mean ‘unrealistic’, ‘impossible’ or ‘futuristic’ then there would be
little left for me to do but type up every film’s plot synopsis. For
this reason, I have defined my top ten ‘worst’ moments as any plot
point, scene, character or piece of dialogue which doesn’t fit with
the rest of the film in which it features. This has made criticising
them somewhat easier, although I have no doubt that I will come up
against opposition regarding all of my points. For this reason I ask
you to bear in mind that these are my choices alone, based on my
interpretation of the films, so if you have anything to add or if you
disagree please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below!
Now, without further ado, in no particular order:
10# The Batpod’s CGI – The Dark Knight (2008)
The chase in The Dark Knight (2008) is arguably the film’s
centrepiece; Harvey Dent’s life hangs in the balance; the Joker is
captured; Commissioner Gordon makes a surprise return; and there are
more than enough crashes, splashes and explosions to keep the audience
on the edge of their seats throughout. The IMAX used to shoot the
scene gives it a crystal clear visual quality, which combined with
Hans Zimmer’s haunting score gives the whole sequence an overwhelming
sense of peril and drama. However, there are a couple of things within
this sequence which spoil what would have otherwise been a flawless
piece of cinema.
The first is the CGI as the Batpod detaches from the Tumbler; the
shots of it screeching through malls and packed side streets like a
banshee blowing away everything from windows to parked cars are
excellent, but in order to do this it first had to be written into the
scene. Having Batman arrive on it could have been feasible (he only
arrives when the chase is in progress, after all, and there must be
other ways to deal with the garbage truck) but instead it is produced
at the expense of the Tumbler.
Christopher Nolan is quoted by a crew member on the DVD special
features as saying he wanted to destroy the Tumbler at the end of
Batman Begins, but didn’t due to plot considerations. This time he got
his wish, replacing the military commissioned goliath with the Batpod
and simultaneously creating one of the more noticeable pieces of CGI
in the entire film. Then, to further the use of unnecessary CGI, when
the chase has concluded and the Joker’s truck has been flipped the
Batpod rides up a wall, pivots on its rear wheel and settles back to
earth. The truck was flipped in the real world using real compressed
gas, so what’s wrong with turning the Batpod around like any normal
motorbike? When will film makers learn that such obvious pieces of CGI
kills movies by dragging the audience kicking and screaming from the
immersion which the rest of the scene so carefully creates? Sorry for
the rant, but I feel that Nolan and his team detracted from the
excellent work they did on creating such a stunt by following it up
with something which could have been executed far better.
9# The ‘Art Gallery’ Scene – Batman (1989)
The Art Gallery scene in Batman (1989) is a little bit confusing. You
may have noticed a lack of criticism for the first Batman on the rest
of this list, due to my belief that it was the best one of its
generation – a previously comical television serial brought bang up to
date with tension and a twisted Burtonesque edge. However this moment
in Bat-infamy simply can’t be ignored.
In this scene, an attempt is made to introduce the previously 60′s
prevalent exaggerated humour into the far grittier and moodier Burton
representation, with the combination of the two producing a result
which doesn’t really work. It could be argued that the bad dance
routine set to the music of Prince reinforces the Joker’s sense of
humour and theatre, in addition to showcasing his desire to destroy
and disrupt ordered society. He certainly does that, smashing valuable
statues and defacing priceless paintings. However, after brutally
murdering mob bosses and cold heartedly gassing innocent civilians
this scene seems a little too light hearted for its own good.
Perhaps losing the music would have been sufficient, or cutting out
the ridiculous dancing from the henchmen (who are nowhere near as
deluded or psychotic as the Joker)? I can’t quite put my finger on how
this scene could have been improved, perhaps a sign that I’m being
overly critical, but as per the definition at the top of this article
it doesn’t quite fit for me with the rest of the film and as such has
found itself here. It’s a shame, since Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of
the Joker was otherwise very dark and menacing (for me both Nicholson
and Ledger delivered stellar performances).
8# Penguin’s Batmobile Driving Simulator – Batman Returns (1992)
Batman is engaged in a hand to hand fight with Catwoman across
Gotham’s rooftops, deflecting kicks and desperately avoiding the sharp
drops from the edge of each building. While his adversary is
distracted, Penguin intervenes by sending his goons to sabotage the
Batmobile. Rather than fitting the flame throwing auto with a bomb,
which would require ingenuity and quick thinking to defuse, they
instead fit the car with a remote control system, allowing Penguin to
drive it using a scale replica housed inside his ‘Oswald Cobblepot
Electoral Trailer’. The result is that a chase which could have been
hectic and exciting is reduced to a farce, the camera shots of the
Batmobile hitting civilians while screeching with alarming abandon
through the city cut with embarrassing glimpses of the Penguin rocking
his trailer in glee.
Perhaps this wouldn’t have been so bad if the scene prior to this one
hadn’t have been one of the better ones for showcasing Batman’s
inimitable ‘cool’. As it stands, the contrast is noticeable and
disappointing.
7# Mr. Freeze – Batman & Robin (1997)
The above heading may seem very general, but there is good reason for
this – everything about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of Mr.
Freeze is lacking. After an overenthusiastic ‘slip’ into a vat of
freezing chemicals, the previously hard working and affectionate Dr.
Victor Fries transforms into an ice cold killer (pardon the pun) who
works tirelessly to cure his terminally ill and cryogenically frozen
wife while simultaneously developing a love for furry Polar Bear
slippers, Christmas songs, dancing (badly) and spouting terrible
catchphrases. These include, but are not limited to, “Cool off”,
“Chill out”, “What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!” and “Chilled to
perfection”. There’s more, but… enough.
Unfortunately, it’s obvious that Schwarzenegger was cast only for his
name and not for his acting credentials; as much as I enjoy watching
him in movies like ‘Commando’ or ‘Predator’ he doesn’t even change his
accent for his appearance in Batman & Robin (1997), making him a bit
of a caricature; a sizeable piece of comic relief in a film which (for
me) already has far too much of it. Yes he’s funny at first, but after
a while the jokes get old and the whole character starts to grate.
With different writing and casting, this could have been a ‘chilling’
portrayal of a vengeful world – hating psychopath, but unfortunately
it was not to be.
6# Penguin’s ‘Rubber Duck Boat’ – Batman Returns (1992)
The Penguin is a complex character with a tragic past, a somewhat
‘unconventional’ upbringing and an ambivalent demeanour; he is both
charming and devious, with his criminal desires underpinning his thin
veneer of respectability. Overall I found him to be an entertaining
villain, although there was one aspect of his existence which puzzled
me; it wasn’t his upbringing by penguins; it wasn’t the fact that he
could speak ‘penguin’; it wasn’t the fact that there were penguins in
Gotham when it should have been far too warm for them (even at
Christmas); it wasn’t that he had an army of penguins with rockets
strapped to their backs who would follow his every command. No, it was
none of these things. He is a comic book character, after all.
Instead, the most puzzling aspect of the Penguin’s character for me
was why he chose to travel the city’s sewer system in a gigantic
yellow motorised rubber duck with Lamborghini doors.
Capable of traversing roads as well as waterways thanks to its off
road wheels, I’ll admit that the giant duck made me laugh. However,
compared to the other facets of the character it jars slightly.
Perhaps that’s the point? Perhaps it’s a comedic device much like his
umbrellas, his social ineptitude and his immature tantrums? Perhaps
it’s to get a cheap laugh? Perhaps he had one in the comic book? If
anyone knows specifically why Penguin uses such a craft, or if he had
a similar mode of transportation in the comics or graphic novels,
please let me know as I’d love to try and get my head around such a
seemingly bizarre choice.
5# The ‘Bat Credit Card’ – Batman & Robin (1997)
The scene in Batman & Robin (1997) which begins with a charity auction
and ends with the dreadful line “Never leave the cave without it” is
terrible. Up to now I have offered only my personal opinion on my
choices, fully aware that others will disagree and offer their own
interpretations. In this case, however, I shall not be moved. I truly
believe that this scene is undisputedly and indefensibly terrible.
Firstly, Batman and Robin agree to make an appearance at a charity
benefit, which serves only to demystify the two silent guardians of
Gotham’s vulnerable populace by giving them near celebrity status.
Secondly, Poison Ivy appears dressed as a giant gorilla – which is all
I really need to say for that. Lastly, when the two heroes bid against
each other for a date with Ivy while under the influence of her
hypnotising potion, Robin claims that he’ll borrow some of Batman’s
money before Batman shows him the Bat credit card. Oh dear. This scene
is in fact so bad that YouTube responses to it from people like
‘NostalgiaCritic’ become internet phenomena. And I wholeheartedly
agree with all of them.
4# Opening a Safe with a Hearing Aid… – Batman Forever (1995)
… Or not. Taking the title sequence and first scene in isolation,
audiences could be forgiven for thinking that by this point the
writers of Batman Forever (1995) had lost the plot completely (no pun
intended). When Batman is locked inside a secure safe with a security
guard and the safe begins rapidly filling with acid, our hero is left
with little choice but to face certain death. Fortunately, when all
hope seems lost, a solution presents itself – Batman takes the inept
security guard’s hearing aid and uses it to pick the lock of the safe…
from the inside… while it’s hanging hundreds of feet above the ground…
with Two Face circling overhead in a helicopter wailing like he’s a
wounded animal. There are so many parts of this scene which could have
been done better or more dramatically, making the end result a scene
that doesn’t live up to what the remainder of the film provides – as I
said, it is an entertaining film if watched in its entirety.
3# “I’ll get Drive – Thru” – Batman Forever (1995)
Elliot Goldenthal’s orchestral score soars through the speakers as the
Batman logo and the acting credits of the main characters shoot across
the screen in vibrant shades of green, orange, red and pink. Batman
Forever (1995) has begun. Suddenly, our hero appears. Once suited up
in his trademark outfit and cape, he carefully selects the weapons and
gadgets he will need for his next skirmish with Gotham’s criminal
fraternity. Ascending the cold metal stairs of the bat cave he
emerges, triumphant, as the Batmobile raises up to meet him on its
bespoke rotating platform. The music reaches its dizzying height as
the caped crusader examines his trusty steed… then Alfred enters the
shot and says “Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you sir?” to
which Bruce replies with “I’ll get drive thru.” What a way to kill any
sense of pace, drama or tension which may have been building up until
that point.
This isn’t a dig at Val Kilmer; in fact, I found his portrayal of the
caped crusader in Batman Forever (1995) just as entertaining as
Michael Keaton’s previous efforts. I enjoyed the film immensely, with
fast paced action, moments of genuine drama and a host of colourful
villains presented as if they were taken directly from the pages of
the comic books. I realise that this line is supposed to be quirky and
funny just like the villains of the piece, but it doesn’t fit with the
mood of the scene it’s placed in at all; the gloom, the murkiness, the
mystery, the technology, the ‘badassery’ of it all collapses as soon
as those lines are spoken. Plus Bruce and Alfred rarely ever use
humour in the same way that the Joker or Two Face might, meaning that
the exchange, although brief, seem out of sorts. To make matters
worse, after these lines are unavoidably uttered Schumacher
desperately tries to reel the audience back in with a return to the
gloom, the darkness and the calculated music – but it’s all too late.
It’s an unnecessary nod to the humour of the ‘60s series – one of
several throughout the film – but it just doesn’t fit. Still, perhaps
the next scene is better…
You can watch the infamous moment HERE.
2# Reverse Engineering Bullets… The Dark Knight (2008)
Again, this is perhaps only a small point and it won’t annoy people as
much as the points above, but out of all of the technical advances
showcased in The Dark Knight (2008) I felt that the reverse
engineering of a bullet was the least convincing. Setting up a row of
identical wall bricks, shooting at each in turn and using the
fragments to find a fingerprint on an already shattered bullet? For
this to work would Bruce not need to use the same type of weapon, the
same type of bullet and shoot from the same distance and elevation?
How does he know that the bullet was fired on a perfectly horizontally
plane into the wall? Surely in the excitement of the confrontation
shots would have hit the wall from multiple directions and at multiple
angles? Also, do all bullets always shatter in exactly the same way,
even if they are fired in identical conditions?
I know, I know. It’s a film. I should just deal with it. After all,
the theory of reverse engineering a bullet is no stranger than
transforming every mobile phone in Gotham into a sonar transmitter.
However, the crucial difference here is that the sonar was at least
pre-empted and developed to give it a degree of credibility; Bruce
refuses to tell Lucius Fox about an alleged ‘Military
Telecommunications’ project throughout the film, before revealing near
the finale that he has adopted a piece of technology developed by Fox
for use in Shanghai and deployed it on a much larger scale. Therefore,
the technology is grounded within the reality of the film and can be
readily explained. By contrast, reverse engineering a bullet is not
mentioned before or after the scene in which it features, nor is it
included in Batman Begins (2006), giving the impression that it was
used only as a narrative device to advance the plot when the writers
were stuck in a rut.
1# ‘Uncle Alfred’ Designing the ‘Batgirl’ Costume… – Batman & Robin
(1997)
It’s a well known fact that Alfred, the Wayne family’s loyal and long
suffering butler, has always been an integral part of the Batman
franchise. He gives invaluable advice, tends to Bruce’s injuries,
helps to maintain the Batmobile, ensures that the weapons and gadgets
are in functional order and, in the Burton / Schumacher films, also
has a hand in designing and making the heroes (and heroines) suits.
There’s no problem with this in theory, but when the well mannered and
gentile old fellow produces a figure hugging and risqué ‘Batgirl’
outfit for his ‘darling niece’ in Batman & Robin (1997) questions have
to be asked. I’m definitely not accusing the writers or directors of
hinting at anything; nor am I ignorant to the fact that much of the
target audience for the film would have greatly enjoyed seeing Alicia
Silverstone in such an ensemble. However, why couldn’t they have
scripted this scene to allow Barbara to make her own suit? She has a
pre-established back story of liking motorbikes, so why not film a
scene showing her cutting up a set of leathers and producing an outfit
that way? It’s a small point I know, but it just doesn’t feel right.
So that concludes my round up of the ten ‘worst’ moments in the
‘Batman’ film franchise. As you may have guessed by now it was
incredibly difficult to pick holes in these films for a variety of
reasons; not only are they based on comic books, meaning that they
aren’t supposed to be realistic, but they also strike a delicate
balance between drama and humour and make use of technology which is
at once impossible but feasible. As a result I have only chosen those
moments which I feel could have been improved in some way, as per my
definition of the word ‘worst’. I am certain that many of you will
disagree with my points, or generate some which I haven’t given
priority – Christian Bale’s voice, for instance, is something I think
works very well and adds to the character, while many others find it
laughably incomprehensible and distracting. Still, if this article
succeeds in nothing other than sparking up a discussion or debate then
it’s done its job!